Mental illness runs rampant in both my ex husband's and my genetics (as do major physical illnesses with genetic factors on my side). My ex's mom, grandma, and uncle are all bipolar, his other uncle is schizophrenic, his dad and sister are prone to depression, and there's some likely untreated/unacknowledged addiction/alcoholism in there. My mom, grandma, and uncle have battled depression and/or anxiety, my aunt and uncle are bipolar, there's a few family members with vague but definite mental illness (delusions, inability to care for themselves, flights of fancy), and a wide streak of addiction and alcoholism runs through my family tree. My ex has had bouts of clinical depression and I spent much of my life battling depression and eating disorders. To top it off, pretty much everyone in both of our families who lives long enough ends up with Alzheimer's. When I got pregnant with my second child, we both kind of went "Well, statistically at least one of them is gonna have some issues somewhere".

Honestly, I don't know that there's any real way to prevent it, so we've tried to ride the line between being alert for signs of trouble and not being paranoid about it. We've been honest about the fact that wacky brain chemistry runs in our family, and that it's not anyone's fault, we treat it as we would a physical illness: by taking care of ourselves, being in tune with how we're feeling, and following the recommendations of our doctors. We've talked about how they will need to be careful with things like drugs and alcohol, and how self destructive behaviors can get away from us. And one of our daughters has been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Because we knew what to look for, we caught it early. She's been in counseling, and when that wasn't enough, we stepped it up to medication (recommended by her doctors of course) and a more intensive treatment course, including group therapy. It's made an amazing difference, and she's doing very well.

For us, we've just tried to be in tune and open with them without hovering. We've also made a big effort to not overreact to every mood swing or bad day, but not underreact to clear signs of trouble, concerning patterns, or gut feelings that something is wrong. When in doubt, we defer to the professionals. I wish I had a better answer, but mental illness is tricky. We try to make room to work it into our lives without letting it rule our lives.