Both, it's textbook intermittent reinforcement/ emotional abuse. Mine weren't quite so grandiose but there was still a lot of little gifts. Making me large meals or favorite snacks to take home. Having my favorite drinks or whatever stocked up when I got there. But ultimately still being cold, distant, snappy, and sullen pretty much all the time. I've found on here that stuff like that is common before discard too, which is congruent to my experience.

Also on a darker note, narcissists are prone to the same shit. I knew a guy whose now ex wife is a complete malignant narc. Would buy the guy deep sea fishing trips to florida and such just to get him out of the house for a week to cheat. Cluster B's are generally pretty fucked up. Though not all do things like that to that degree.