No, that isnt what I meant at all.

Leave aside the bpd for a moment - dude has major depression (causes sexual dysfunction in itself in around a third of cases) and if he is on medication that is going to cause sexual dysfunction also. They lower libido, cause problems with erection/arousal and orgasm. I'm applying Occams razor here and suggesting he may have problems in this area given the information presented and this is then setting up a pattern of avoiding sex out of fear. It happens to nearly every man at some point in their life.

I would suggest to the OP to maybe try to bring up in a sensitive way. If it isn't the issue then the other issues can be addressed.