I feel kind of stuck right now. I've been lifting for ages but for various reasons it has been inconsistent and I'm always having to restart at a certain point and work my way back up. I hate telling people how long I've been lifting for because my lifts feel so pathetic.

Last year was really horrible for me and I ended up eating a bunch while not working out and gained some weight. 12kg more than where I would like to be, but still within a normal BMI (I wouldn't care about my weight if it was muscle I was gaining, but it wasn't). My pants weren't fitting comfortably around my stomach and in general I just feel like shit about how I look. I have been on a cut since the 8th and lost around 2kg while doing a combo of lifting heavy/cardio/hiking and do think I look a bit better. I planned to lose 5kg more. My bf has also just started lifting - he wanted to start cause he also picked up a bit of weight and didn't like it. He is also cutting with me.

My lifts last year when I was eating more were going up fairly steadily. I was happy with the rate. I stopped lifting for a bit and am now working my way back up to the same work weight I was at, but it's harder and going up slower. Pretty sure this is due to the cut. The point of this rambling post is to ask - should I abandon my cut in favor of a recomp and increase my calories? Some outside opinions would really help. I am worried I am leading my bf astray, that maybe we should actually both be recomping so our lifting goes better (he's not been missing reps or having to take super long rest because n00b gains, but I have, and I just feel like I'm setting a bad example or something). This is what I looked like 3 weeks ago (NSFW underwear): relaxed, flexed