Hey buddy. I split up with my ex a few months ago and I found it really hard for a while. I tried so hard to not contact her but eventually I did.

First I sent her a video about how to prepare avocados properly (because we used to eat a lot of them) and got no reply. Then I asked if she wanted to meet up for lunch sometime soon, she said no thank you. Then I asked if we could talk about trying to fix things and get back together, she didn't reply. I waited a few days and then asked her if she could honestly say no part of her wanted to try again... she said sorry but she didn't want to try again. The next day I went out for lunch and guess who was sat at the next table? Yep, her and her friends.

That meal was absolutely awful. I was hurting so badly and on top of that I was incredibly embarrassed about my messages to her.

I thought a lot about how I'd acted and realised that if we were ever to get back together, it wouldn't be under these circumstances. She wouldn't get back with the wet flannel of a guy who sent those messages. We would only get back together if she realised that she wanted to on her own. I needed to let her come to me.

I decided that I needed to cut off all contact. I unfollowed her Facebook (we were still "friends" because I didn't want to seem petty. I didn't ever visit her profile), I unfollowed her Instagram and Twitter, as well as all of her friends' social media accounts. I made sure my updates would be hidden from her, too. I deleted her phone number and every message we'd ever exchanged. I wouldn't get any update about her life.

It was still painful and I still missed her. Sundays were usually the worst because I generally wouldn't be doing much and I'd have too much time to think about her and our relationship; but I did my best to keep busy and I gradually noticed that I missed her less and less. Sundays were still the worst but the feelings got less intense over time.

Eventually I realised that I was happier without her (I also realised that she was probably better off without me which hurt in a way but was also a bit of a relief). I appreciate the good times in our relationship but I realise that we broke up for a reason and the fact that we didn't get back together only confirmed that we were right to break up.

So here I am now, able to think about her and talk (write) about her without actually missing her. I even occasionally think "oh god, if we were together I would have missed out on x or y that happened recently".

What I'm trying to say is that, for me at least, I couldn't get over her while she was still in my life, no matter how small of a part she played. I'm thinking it's the same for you, bro.