My wife and I rarely have sex. Like once every 8-10 weeks. We're 28, married 1.5 years, together 8 years. Living together now for 5 years, and we were each others firsts and only. She's always been worked up over weight issues and health, even though she is under the ideal weight for her height. She's always struggled with confidence issues, despite being Valedictorian at her school and top of her class in college. She's a classic overachiever. She has had a lot of stress with her job now too as she recently became Manager of her call center last year after being there 8 years and working her way to Lead and then Supervisor, and now her company was sold and she's not sure what direction its going in. Her father also passed last year, but before that, it was still pretty hard for her to get a level head sometimes as she strives too hard for everything to be perfect all the time. She's also on the pill. She too never feels in the mood and often like she's going through the motions when we do try and have an intimate moment. Normally though she'd rather be cuddled and have her head rubbed and get to sleep by 8PM. The rare times we do get intimate on the third Saturday of every other month under a blue moon when Saturn and Mercury are in alignment, it's a struggle. Can't have had too much for dinner or been out shopping or walking too much, but also couldn't have had to lazy a day or she's too tired either way. Then too, work that week needed to be slow and her pants had to fit that morning. She's like a size 4, but she used to be a 0 and a 2...when she was 16 and 19. She's 28...she needs to learn to chill. Meanwhile, I do EVERYTHING I can to make her happy and feel wanted and appreciated. Foot rubs, back rubs, I help shampoo her hair in the morning and scrub her back with bath salts, etc. We watch her shows at night, I care for the dog in the morning and at night, and I do most of the cooking and cleaning. I am the most supportive husband I can be. But literally nothing I do or say can snap her out of her funk because she isn't happy with her body and that means she isn't comfortable or happy during sex. So then...if she's not happy, how can I be happy? How do I cope with no sex? At first it was frustrating but I've grown accustomed to it. I basically make up for it with masturbation and excusing myself from other activities or obligations to be allowed to play games which she doesn't like. She feels I am ignoring her when I play my games when she's home, and she's bored with nothing to do since she has no hobbies she enjoys other than working out. After 20 minutes of my trying to game, forget sex that night, so why bother not playing for 2-3 hours or whatever. I've tried doing it her way to no avail, so now I will do what I enjoy. It's a lose lose situation. I'm basically playing hard to get and not bringing up sex at all. Now it boils down to basically months go by and she'll say "we should be having sex but I dont feel like it and we should try to do it this weekend, right?" And I just shrug and say, yea, whatever, see how it goes. And then weekend comes and we'll lay in bed and kiss and she'll say I feel tired, cant we just cuddle? And I say sure...why not...and we cuddle and she falls asleep and I pull my 3DS or VITA out and play a game and watch a movie and go to bed at 11. Meanwhile, I already jerked it off when I got home from work the day before so I am good for a few days. It is what it is. Going forward, whatever, I don't even care anymore. It's her problem, not mine. And when we do actually have sex, its amazing because its been so long. She might not enjoy it 100%, but she still gets into it enough and I make sure to try and pleasure her enough that we both at least get off and then we cuddle for a bit before clean up and she's happy then and I am happy and yea...thats satisfying enough to get me through the next few weeks. Meanwhile I also mark the calendar now with a star the days we do have sex to track it and she actually likes that because it reminds her of how long it has really been and that feeling of guilt sort of motivates her to try better? IDK...in the end, I worked through it by realizing I suppose in the end I enjoy my time with her in other ways...but IDK how many more years of this I can take. We literally have so much free time and no responsibilities or worries at home with no kids or nothing that we could have sex morning, noon, and night and we aren't...especially since she only likes having sex basically between 740pm and 815pm OR not at all.