But that's after the baby arrives. Gestation can throw you some really unexpected curve balls. I'm doing it now. Going in I was really healthy, fit, ready to do this. We expected a normal problem free pregnancy because that's what most people have and I'm super healthy, not delicate or small boned or anything.
First issue: about a month in I got extreme morning sickness. All day, all night. I lost more than 20 lbs. I felt like I had the flu 24/7 for nearly two months. I was bedridden. My partner had to spend all of his spare time taking care of me and just the basics of the house. None of the standard meds worked at all. I ended up losing my less flexible part time job that I really enjoyed. I fully expected to be able to keep this job until well into the pregnancy, especially since I sort of needed to as my other job involved heavier physical activity that one wouldn't be able to do during the later stages of a pregnancy.
So about 6-8 months sooner than expected I'm unemployed. Ok, we can manage that, though it really sucks.
Now I've developed gestational hypertension that is well on its way to preeclampsia. Again, no physical cues this could happen to me. I'm fit and active. But I can barely leave the house because I'm on no stress/80% bed rest. I still feel fine now that we've finally found a medication for the morning sickness, but we've had to hire a housekeeper because if I even sweep the floor my blood pressure skyrockets dangerously. I've been in and out of the hospital for observation over the last week, and it's really a toss up whether I'll end up being induced, having an emergency cesarean, or losing the baby entirely.
Don't get me wrong. I don't regret anything. But developing preeclampsia sets me up for a host of problems later in life from renal damage to higher risk of stroke. It has the potential to completely change the landscape of my life. Cesarean surgery will also drastically change my body in ways we didn't anticipate.
Not trying to discourage anyone from the joys of becoming a mother, I'm just pointing out the totally unexpected developments than can result from pregnancy. If I had gone into this with doubts or regrets I might be in a very bad place mentally. I'm trying not to even think about the financial toll it's taking because there's really no point, but this is going to affect the financial landscape of our lives as well.