I have several dietary restrictions, as well as a personal and familial history with depression (That'll come into play later) Most of these I've had for more than ten years, though in the past year I discovered I was intolerant to gluten. Well I've been a vegetarian for three years (I know that one's on me, but I've considered going back several times and I just feel sick to my stomach) and have been intolerant to corn since the third grade, so those two restrictions take out a pretty sizable chunk of what I am able to eat. So when I discovered I was intolerant to gluten, I was less than thrilled. You wouldn't believe how much corn is in, and you wouldn't believe the amount of gluten that's out there. Unfortunately a lot of the time they are substitutes for each other, so when I initially found out that I couldn't eat gluten I refused to stop. I'm a college student and my other needs where barely being accounted for. Getting rid of gluten would make eating in the campus cafe almost impossible as there is often a great deal of cross contamination on our campus, and while I did have some food in my dorm, almost all of it was infested with gluten. Stopping just seemed too difficult. Well I was wrong and I soon learned that. I decided to suck it up for a while. I started to suspect in October and I ceased in February, after which I did have a doctor confirm that I was correct about the cause of my symptoms. Waiting that long was a bad call, but one I made and had to live with. I went about my life normally. I'd wake up every morning feeling like I was going to die and I'd go throughout the day in severe pain. But none of it happened overnight, it was gradual, and I because of this I didn't notice my health declining or make the connection that my gluten intake was causing it. Well in November I began dating this girl, a women who I have come to love more than anything. As we started dating I learned that she couldn't eat gluten and that she suspected that she couldn't have corn. At this I told her about my inability to eat corn (Not admitting to her, or myself, my own suspicions about gluten) and offered to help in anyway I could. Slowly our relationship grew, and my health declined, yet I still took no notice. She was still on corn and her health had declined in a similar manner. The truth is that I was a hypocrite, a fact I now realize, but at this time I was selfish. I continually begged her to stop eating corn, I knew what it did to her and I knew how much I cared for her, I couldn't bare to see her like that. She eventually realized that I was right and agreed to give it a go, but she kept backsliding. One day I got frustrated begged her to look at how she felt everyday, and look at what she was doing to herself... And then it clicked. I realized my hypocrisy, and I promised myself to try and get off gluten. A few days later I told her that I suspected I couldn't eat gluten and that I'd try and stop. And I did for a few days, and after two I felt better than I had in a long time. But I backslid too. It's really easy to do in this type of scenario. And for several weeks I would be off and on. However the longer I was off gluten the worse I'd feel when I backslid, and when I backslid, the poison destroyed me emotionally. My history with depression may have worsened it, but when I ate gluten that depression came rushing back almost instantly, and it hit hard. Like scary hard. The last time I backslid, my night ended with me sobbing and throwing a butter knife across the room because it wouldn't break the skin. I sobbed in the corner for a few minutes, and then I got a call from my mom. I pretended to be fine. I said I love you, believing it would be the last, but after the call I saw my lockscreen, a picture of me and I saw me and my girlfriend, and I realized what my death would do to her, and my parents. I put my suicide on hold and just sat back in the corner. The next morning I woke up in the corner and realized what I had nearly done and why. I was mortified. I realized just how close I came to hurting the people who cared about me the most, and I realized just how destructive my suicide would have been to them. Aside from some accidental instances of cross contamination I haven't eaten gluten since, and I never plan too. My girlfriend is doing the same with corn and while she's struggling with the change more than I, I'm with her every step of the way. Had she not been in my life there's a good chance I never would have gotten of gluten, and I never would have seen that picture. Were it not for her I'd probably be dead.

Getting off gluten was the best decision I've ever made, and it's a lot easier than I thought it'd be, even with all my other restrictions. Like everything it takes time and effort, but if you work at it, it gets easier.

Today I'm healthier than ever before and as soon as I am in a financially stable position I plan to propose to the women of my dreams.