At 19 I went to the college nurse in search of antibiotics for a raging sinus infection. For some reason she had to ask me if I was pregnant or could possibly be pregnant. I answered no. She told me to think harder, was I SURE there was NO possibility? Absolutely sure, I said. Well you young girls think you know everything don't you, she said, what kind of birth control do you use? I don't, because I'm the world's oldest virgin, I said, withering with embarrassment. Her face LIT UP and she almost hugged me, as she exclaimed "OH GOOD FOR YOU, I'M SO GLAD THERE ARE STILL A FEW SENSIBLE GIRLS LEFT!" Yeah....felt like shit.

At 21, at a different college (I transferred schools, irrelevant reasons) I went to the campus nurse to get on the pill. I was still a virgin, wanted to regulate my hellish periods, and was also attempting to be prepared for what I thought would develop into a relationship (it did not.) That nurse snapped at me and told me not to lie when I said I was a virgin and looking to stabilize my periods, rolled her eyes and told me to use condoms anyway because "I know how all you girls are."

At 23, STILL a virgin, I went to a GP for a general physical and wanted a gynecological exam, which I had not yet ever had. After the usual "Stop lying, come on, how old are you?" the doctor then refused to do a gyno exam on me because "if you're a virgin, there's no point" and sent me home without examining any other part or functioning of my entire anatomy.

I haven't been to the doctor since. I'm finally not a virgin anymore though, so maybe they can treat me like the other flavor of not quite human.