Yes, mostly because I have no clue how to mask so my odd speech patterns/behaviors/habits are very obvious to allistics. I mean, when I worked from home I couldnt even make eye contact with the camera. And people often take this as lack of confidence or my fidgeting as nervousness - every job I've had I feel like I have to prove myself, that presenting my background & knowledge isnt enough, no one will believe me until they work with me themselves. I've been in the same field for 5 years. I'm often more experienced than my coworkers. And I always get the "omg you are actually so smart!!" type comments that have a bit of a condescending tone to them, or once the straight up "wow I didnt believe you actually know what you are doing". I mean, I was straight up told by the guidance counselor in high school "you shouldnt pursue anything after graduation because you wont make it" followed by teachers in my vocational school making shocked faces every time I passed a test. Like I have never failed a test and you've had me as a student for months, making a shocked face so noticeable that even I pick up on it is a bit much at this point.

But what others perceive as lack of confidence I sort of perceive as confidence - I know what I'm good at, I know what I'm bad at, I know how I am - I'm not going to continue trying to change, because at this point i learned that attempting to was like trying to shove a square peg into a circle hole. Not happening, no matter how hard I tried to force it.