My brother in christ,

I'm half tempted to assume you're a really dedicated troll and if that is the case, then: Congrats! You've well perfected the craft. I'm absolutely confident you'll graduate trollege summa cum laude.

But otherwise: Your post sounds like one parent is trying to get me to pick their side against the other, because they're desperate for validation in their long-overdue divorce. (Which tbh is great, if trolling)

Since you otherwise also seem to be struggling with the irony and sarcasm in the comments: It's OK bro. I do too, especially via text. Here's a nifty lifehack for that! If a post or comment raises you eyebrows so high they start cartoonishly floating above your head: that's probably sarcasm or satire.