I envy your outlook. I'm in my late 20's and constantly worry I'll be stuck with this person for the rest of my life. That I'll never feel butterflies in my stomach again. It's easy to feel worthless and unattractive in a long distance relationship with someone who you haven't seen in half a year. It's almost like she's keeping me around in LDR to use me as an emotional supply and I sometimes wonder if she'd truly discard me if she found someone better in her eyes. Hell, I sometimes wonder if finding someone else would make it easier for me to leave her. At the same time, I'm incredibly untrusting now of other people and I think a big part of me will be super careful and hesitant of anyone I date in the future, if I do.

We lived together for 3 years and a part of me was relieved when she moved for her career because I felt maybe I'd get a part of myself back. It was also incredibly depressing and dark and I had to re-learn how to be alone again. Now I feel like I've got one foot stuck in the mud, like I'm half-in, half-out, and I can't seem to figure out how to pull myself the rest of the way.