So jokes about men getting raped are not okay, but jokes that have rape as a central theme to it are still okay?

No, this is not what anyone is claiming.

The point is that jokes where the victim of rape is the punchline or are the expense of the joke are distasteful. That's the key part. I don't think this is a weird line to draw. It just so happens most of these are about men.

Not that there aren't proper times and places for dark jokes or that certain topics shouldn't be joked about. But those jokes are seen and recognized as dark jokes. People laugh at them, but they still recognize the premise is something terrible in real life

In this case though, it is not really seen as a dark joke. It's made in situations where any other dark joke would not fly at all, such as in the oscars, kids movies, etc.

It also ties in with real world inaction. People make jokes like this when an actual person goes to prison. Any other kind of dark joke wouldn't work when talking about an actual person.

People make jokes about dealth all the time for example. But if you make a dark joke about death while at a funeral, everyone agrees this makes you a jerk. Nobody would argue