story time!

I met and flirted with Katy Perry last year without realizing who she was.

Last year, I vacationed in Antarctica. I was at the Toronto airport waiting in line at the security checkpoint - big line of people. All of a sudden people started murmuring quietly and I could hear the clicking and beeping of camera drives, so I turned to see what was up.

Walking down the terminal bridges from the parking structures was a flock of paparazzi. They were pointing their cameras in my general direction, so I knew there had to be a celebrity close by. Suddenly, I caught a glimpse of a woman out of the corner of my eye.

Standing besides me, outside of the line and escorted by two suited men, was a very attractive brunette, dressed down in casual clothing (typical for celebrities in public in Toronto). I barely had time to think of something before she turned her head and we made eye contact.

"Now look what you've done," I said.

She looked puzzled.

I maintained eye contact but nodded my head sideways in the direction of the paparazzi. "You've led them right to me. What were you thinking, woman?"

She smiled big and turned towards me. There was a brief, intense moment of silence and then she said "I'm sorry. It was careless, wasn't it?"

"This is a bad way for you to start our relationship. But I can forgive under the right circumstances."

We walked very briefly. The bodyguards she was with were trying to get her priority screening, so there wasn't much time to work - but she was into me. I didn't give her beauty or her apparent status as a celebrity any credence, and I dropped one cocky neg after the other. By the time her escort ushered her through, we were at the topic of sex and she was laughing. I'm sure that with some fast talking, luck, and a blatant disregard for my own personal safety I could have cleared security along with her by just insisting hard enough - but I didn't feel ready to start some shit at an airport. Not before my flight, and not just for some pussy.

So we parted ways without ever exchanging names. She went through the checkpoint.

After she'd left, all of the other girls in the line were making huge eyes at me and smiling. One guy in the line said "Duuuuude..." and gave me a brofist.

"Who the fuck was that?" I asked him, bumping fists.

"Dude, that was Katy Perry."

I had no idea who that was. I'm not a pop music kind of guy. I think he saw the obliviousness in my face because he laughed.