I’m trying to do this. After my ex broke up with me last year a week later he was going on dates, planning on asking a friend out in serious manner aaaand he had oral sex with another friend of his. He lied to me about it and let me have sex with him. I was and still am disgusted about it, after a year of him breaking up with me and then regretting it and then breaking up with me again and consistently breaking my heart. The idea of him doing those things with other girls again makes me nauseous.

I have resumed to imagine the worst, imagine him having sex and kissing a bunch of women, friends of his, falling in love with that friend he wanted to ask in a serious date, and him getting married next year to the love of his life, having babies...I imagine this is a real scenario that will happen. I let it hurt me, I let it sting me, I let myself cry, I let myself think how much I would have love to have been that, how much I want that life with him, I let myself be in pain, and then I let it go.

Because what’s gonna happen to me? I’m I gonna die because of this? Literally? No. I am gonna do my life and I am gonna try to be a good person and reduce my suffering as much as I can and I let him go. We don’t belong together, destiny and divine intervention have nothing to do with this. He made his decision, he is his own person, so am I.

I am mine. He is his. We are separate beings.