We've been married 5 years, together 8. Things have always been rocky. But the last two years we have really improved our communication and things have been better. My husband's job changed a few months ago and he has been struggling. He has become distant and angers easily. He has always struggled with anger issues.
I am in the midst of getting my undergrad in mathematics for teaching secondary education. It should be noted that I was an accounting major prior to teaching. However, I worked in the field and quickly realized it was not for me. I have always wanted to teach and we want a family soon and I felt this career would work around this well. My husband loved the idea of me in accounting. He bragged to his friends and coworkers and was excited for me to be the primary breadwinner. He has a very stable, well paying job in IT for the record. When I decided to switch majors he was less than enthused but "glad it at least isnt primary education".
Tonight at dinner, one of the few nights out we've had in a while, the subject of me finishing my degree came up. And it quickly went downhill. He was visibly upset and began explaining how he "couldn't justify going into debt for just such an idiotic job that pays less than the debt is worth". This isnt true. We have paid out of pocket so far and will only accumulate about $20k to finish. He then went on to explain how he "could never respect teachers". What "mouthbreathers" they are. And that you would "only go into teaching because you aren't smart of enough to do anything else". He then explained that I shouldnt take it personally, he isnt talking about me, just my future coworkers. He went on for the entire night. I tried to talk with him and give my side but he quickly shut me down because he "is just being honest". Would I rather he not give his opinion and just lie? When I asked him how I am supposed to explain to our future children why their father doesn't respect my job, he replied that they probably wont either.
So reddit, my question is, is this a deakbreaker? I honestly dont know that I can move on from this. While he makes some valid points about salary and potential coworkers, I simply cant get past the disrespect. Nor can I see how I be okay with this in the future. I am not sure I can handle not having his support. How do I go get my diploma as I'm graduating and look down and see him, knowing how little he respects me now? How do I discuss my job with friends in front him, especially when he makes it known to any and everyone how he feels?
I'm at a loss here.
TLDR: My husband thinks teachers are a bunch of idiotic mouth-breathers and does not support me becoming one.