TL;DR: Your feelings are a natural response to academic, and eventually professional, competition within your field. You need to control the severity of your uncertainties and reward yourself for your grades and other successes. The more time you spend succeeding, the more you'll be able to control your negative feelings of doubt (which won't ever just magically vanish).

I was an honors student and teen parent. During my senior year of high school, some people treated me like I was a waste of potential. Whether it was through their words or through their expressions, the general outlook seemed to be: "What a fuck up. What a sad situation for that baby."

I was fucking terrified during that year. I was accepted to my top choice for university and struggled during my first year as an undergraduate. I doubted myself constantly. At home, my son's mother was partying and becoming neglectful. I moved for and was granted full custody. With help from family, I continued studying and regained ground lost on my grades during the beginning of college. The middle years were getting better.

Then came senior year. Again: terrified. As a history major, if I didn't make it into law school, I was screwed - no education degree to put that history degree to use, no backup plans. The LSAT (required for law school admission) was an intimidating test of time and logic. My formal logic course did not help me like I thought it would. I wondered whether I should start making backup plans.

Then came the acceptance letter. I was thrilled; finally going to law school. Then came the first semester - uptight, competitive students; one grade per class (the final exam); constant pressure to find summer legal work when, despite my best studying efforts, my class rank was nothing special (I actually stopped checking it after my first semester of law school - too many Bs and Cs).

I managed to find a local company who wanted a law clerk for their legal department. It was a 45-minute commute (no traffic, just distance) in an isolated area far from any major city, but it was legal work. It was what I needed. And I worked hard. Towards the end of the summer, I got a call from one of the attorneys in the legal department. He asked me to meet one of their trial attorneys from a private law firm at the bar in a steakhouse near my apartment. The rest of the attorneys were running late for a business dinner and, since I lived close to the steakhouse, they wanted to know if I would keep him company for a drink or two.

The attorney and I talked about sports and other non-legal topics. When it was time for dinner, he handed me his card and told me to check out their summer internship program the next year. I did. The firm was powerful and the program reportedly paid extremely well. It was a long shot, but I applied. I interviewed. I got it.

Then came that summer. New region of the country. Son stayed with my parents so I could go all out. I was intimidated again. The other two interns had higher class ranks from better law schools. The culture seemed to be so stuffy and the younger people seemed to be crafting a perfect image. I knew the summer position would help me find a job, but I had no clue what that job might be.

Then came the offer. Despite my doubts about myself, the firm loved my work. They offered me a full time associate position following graduation. I accepted immediately.

Then came the bar exam. Failed my first try. Fuck. Game over, I thought. Nope - passed on the second try; new life.

Then came my legal license. New responsibilities. Not just research and writing anymore - court rooms, depositions, important decisions. These things only get more complex, more important, and more difficult. This is an ongoing process. But I've been in tougher positions before with less certainty.

I still have moments where I'm intimidated or uncertain, but as I continue to come out on top, I'm able to more effectively suppress those feelings and carry on with doing what I've come to do well - succeeding.

You'll get there, OP. You're smart. You know it or you wouldn't be where you are. Don't bash yourself for having doubts and uncertainties. Life will always throw those feelings your way. You can't escape the increasing challenges of life. You can get more comfortable with your continued ability to leap every major hurdle you face. You've got this.