Firstly, please don’t yeet yourself off a bridge.You’re important and we need you here. Secondly, if the idea that you’re faking bothers you, you’re not faking. If you were faking, you would know that you were faking and that wouldn’t bother you. It doesn’t matter how deep your cuts are, they’re valid. Anything that someone does to cause deliberate harm to themselves is self-harm. And no one who is thinking clearly and logically would self-harm, so if anyone (including you) is self-harming, that’s a problem. If you were self-harming for attention, that would still be a serious problem because that would show you were so lonely and deprived of attention you were willing to cause deliberate harm to yourself in order to have people notice you. If you’re self-harming, whatever the method is or what you’re reasons are for doing it, it’s valid and it matters.

Also being 5 days clean is really good and it’s really hard to get there. Be proud of yourself!