When I saw your post, I felt like the world stopped spinning for a second as our situations are quite similar. My partner of 8 years (married for 3) also came out this summer and is just starting to talk with a psychiatrist and family doctor to try hormones, and that's all that's really happening so far. It was a complete shocker as he didn't know this about himself until just recently.

I'm not any further along than you so unfortunately I don't have any advice about how this will all turn out. I feel like I can get through the day-to-day for the most part, because he is still the same amazing person that I chose to spend my life with. But when I think about the long-term, or the future day where he starts electrolysis or HRT or something, I feel sick. He may be the same person in some fundamental way, but if he changes his name, voice, facial structure, mannerisms and just the general way that we are together (our roles within the relationship), there will be very little familiarity to it for me. Is that kind of what you think when he says that he'll still be the same? Mine says that too ... Sometimes I think it would be easier to go live with my parents and tell people that my husband died - so, so sad but also true, sometimes.

All I can say for now is that I'm just trying to get through each day, give time time, and see what unfolds. Most days are good and normal. Some are the hardest of my life. I don't want him to change. I don't want to live without him. It's impossible, so I don't know what else to do other than try to focus on each day and wait to find out if one day, it becomes clear that I just can't stay any longer. I also have a psychologist to talk to and met a FtM peer counsellor at our local community outreach centre, both of which are helpful for the time being.

So sorry for the ramble. I hope at the very least, knowing someone else out there is in similar shoes might be helpful for you. :) All the best.