If anybody's curious how it ended, it was a little bit perfect;
She is so confident that we'd survive the distance that she doesn't feel the need to make it a big deal. She's confident that no matter how long we're apart, she'll always want to be with me, but right now she wants the change of space more than she wants me. It's her dream to move out west, that was one of the first things we connected on, and now she has the opportunity and she's not going to let love get in the way of her dreams, nor am I going to let my feelings get in the way of her happiness and self actualization.
As a wrestling and music fan, I respect that. When artists/wrasslers' ladies ask them to pick between them and the road, they hit the fuckin road and never look back. I don't blame her. If I was presented with a once in a lifetime opportunity to relocate and leave her behind, I'd probably be out the door too.
Are her priorities fucked up? Probably. Could we have slowed down, just let the relationship grow a few months and then moved out west together? Probably. Am I done with her in the right now? Sure fuckin thing. Did I end it my way and on my terms? Mhm.
She begged me to take her back, then downplayed my feelings and said I was overreacting, which infuriated me, considering the woman that says she will "love me forever" is moving 2,000 miles away and doesn't seem to be worried and all. That's fucked up and just made my decision easier.
I explained to her that if she thinks she can walk so far away from me but still hold me in her heart, then that's her thing, and that I'm leaving her because to stand by her side, I need her at my side.
Then she hit me with "I'll wait for you forever, and I don't expect the same from you." Now, talk is cheap, motherfucker. But if in X months, all odds and expectations are defied and she seriously did wait for me, proving me to be wrong, proving that the distance was no strain on us (LOL OK) that would change things. But as of now? Fuck it, this one girl I know said she loved me and then ran 2,000 miles away.
The way it was ended was perfect, to be honest. It's over, but I'm the only one with closure. She promises she'll wait for me and when she's settled in her strange new land with new found independence and confidence, she'll come back to me if I'm willing to have her. I absolutely do not believe her, nor am I sure if I want that. She doesn't blame me for not believing her, she understands that I might not want that, and she doesn't expect me to wait for her. So all that stacked up, the entire lack of pressure included, if she does wait for me despite the 2k miles between us? Hey cool here's a surprise: she's the one. I have no hopes, no expectations. If I never heard from her again, I'd be okay. It's all good.