just so you know just because we played together yesterday means nothing. you broke my heart and youre a bastard and you owe me A WHOLE FUCKING LOT for cheating on me WHEN I WAS GIVING YOU ALL I HAD. from now on you better be on your best behavior and treat me very well. and i know you deserve privacy but right now is a really fragile time to ask for that. i want to see [friend's name]'s conversation because i don't think you feel guilty at all, and i don't know if the situation taught you anything other than "next time i'll have to be more careful and she won't catch me". so i want you to prove that this is not true, and if you cant show me [friend's name]'s dms then i'm pretty sure that's the reason why. i can't start trusting you again if you're not fully transparent with me, i don't think you understand. i dont think you understand how dim and grave this situation is. i dont think you understand how much work you'll have to put in, alongside me, to make this relationship work again. unless you dont give a fuck. if you do care then you should show remorse and try to put yourself in my shoes and try to make it up to me. i'm giving you another chance after what you did to me so, unless you dont care about us, i want you to be transparent and honest. i don't think i'm asking too much [boyfriend's name]. i don't think asking for honesty after you cheated on me is a lot. i don't understand why you can't be honest with me. i dont understand why you can't be transparent after what happened. i don't understand how you dont want to prove me wrong with my accusations if theyre not true. i feel like you're maybe staying with me because its convenient to you. because i forget and forgive easily and because looking for someone else would be way harder. someone else that will accept you and know you the way i do. someone else that wont leave you when you tell them youre a [blank]. or when you break a promise. someone that loves you as much as i do, who tries to fix things after every fight, who is always there to support you no matter what. it's just easier to stay with me because i'm already all this and i'm too nice and i forgive so quickly and you can easily take advantage of that. it's easier to stay with me than find someone else and start all over. and be alone again. i want things to work out but i need you to be honest. 100% honest with me. stop lying, stop omitting stuff and all that. i need you to be honest with me and help me rebuild the trust i had for you. i want you to care as much as i do and i want you to put as much, if not even more, effort as i am willing to into fixing our relationship. but without transparency i can't do that. its gonna be a life of us together and i need transparency from you, even more now than i did before, because you cheated. i need you to be like a glass of water with me. do you think you could do that? the reason why i'm asking this from you is partly what i've already said, and the other half is that i'm asking because you've been getting these things from me and i think i deserve the same from you. because were equals in a relationship. unless you think otherwise. if you really care about me and our relationship, there's not much i want you to do. you said you didn't know how to make it up to me, and i didnt know too. but now i do. and i'm telling you. i want honesty and transparency first and foremost. and then... i don't know. i just want you to show me that you care. i just want to know that im not trying alone and that you feel remorse because you love me and you hurt and ruined two very important things in your life. i want to feel important, i want to feel like im someone you don't want to lose and our relationship is something you want to salvage. because right now i don't feel that at all. i'm not giving up on us, so please don't do it yourself. i love you, but that doesn't mean all is forgiven and this is a wound that's gonna haunt me for a long time. please prove to me that you care. please prove to me that you dont want to lose us. and please be honest and transparent with me. i deserve it, i think i deserve all this.