I completely agree with everything you've said. I know only an extremely small number of Asian girls who "prefer white guys" and/or are "not attracted to Asian guys" and it's obvious where their self-hate comes from. They want validation and acceptance: dating a white guy and shitting on Asian guys make them feel better about their insecurities surrounding being a member of what they perceive to be a "lesser" race. To be frank, they're also conventionally unattractive, and I'm guessing that feeds their insecurities.

Almost all of the Asian girls I know are totally cool. I grew up in an area with a lot of Asians and I never encountered an Asian girl hating on Asian guys. If anything, we were too proud of ourselves and talked about how awesome Asian people were compared to non-Asian people (yeah, it was pretty racist). I think being around so many other Asian people allowed us to see ourselves as human beings. Most of us dated other Asians but there were a number of Asians who had white partners and it wasn't because of self-hate but because they fell in love with people who just happened to be white. I went to a college where there were a lot of Asians and it was pretty much the same deal. I didn't even realize self-hating Asian girls were a thing until I discovered Reddit.

Based on personal experience, I assume any Asian girl who "prefers white guys" and/or "isn't attracted to Asian guys" is physically unattractive and/or has major mental-health issues, and I'm not sure whether to feel bad for them or be disgusted by them. There's also the occasional Asian girl who thinks she's not attracted to Asian guys because she had grown up in an area without a lot of Asians, but then goes to college, sees attractive Asian guys for the first time in her life, and starts dating them. These stories are eye-rolling but I also find them pretty amusing, to be honest.