This is the real answer. Essentially just told us she would not be with him if not for her emotional hang ups and unresolved trauma. If that trauma and those issues were resolved, she would break things off. That tells us she already knows he's not a good fit and is just looking for justification to leave.

Op, you don't need justification. You already know the answer. Yes, it'll be hard to deal with what comes after breaking things off, but you already know that's what you need to do.

Worse yet, you're enabling his own flaws and shortcomings as a result. So neither of you are really addressing your issues as a result. You're enabling each other to avoid facing your problems head on.