Dude it sounds like you're all over the place, you claimed to be depressed and that this stuff was ruining your life now you say it's helping you feel normal.

Honestly it seems like you're having a hard time coming to terms with who you are. You claimed before that you don't get feelings towards women, is it possible that at some level you don't want to succeed?

Also it sounds like your idea of "becoming a pickup artist" is to simply repeatedly bash your head against a wall doing the sames things over and over. Practice is only useful if you're practicing correctly. If you set out to learn guitar you're going to need to learn how to tune it, chords, where your fingers go etc. If you don't learn these things and just strum at it every night for 7 months the sounds you make might be marginally better than when you started but you're not "becoming a guitarist".

Have you analyzed what you're doing in your approaches? Do you try different things to see what works and what doesn't? Have you worked on the fundamentals? Have you reached out to try and find someone else who is more advanced than you to help you improve? All of these things are essential to advance in any skill.