This is a tough one. What I do know is that for most of us who are ABDL, The life of being ABDL exists from a very young age. It is not just a part of "who" we are but also "what" we are.

To know your boyfriend wears and to support it; this is great and also humble (if you aren't into it. It shows a very open mind).

To know your boyfriend wears and to condemn it, even with light words of "embarrassment," speaks boldly; incompatibility (in the ABDL dating world). It also shows self shame (upon you) of his acts. You might as well have stepped on the hose to his love tank. I can assure you, unfortunately, that you took a major step back in your relationship especially where trust is concerned with that "embarrassment" statement even if it was honest. I mean, no one will ever say, "You look fat" as an honest statement and make it land without a sting. Embarrassment statements fall in the same "tread lightly category."

The tough part about his position is that depending on how engrained this comfort / security / lifestyle is within him personally, this may be a year healing process or a year of a relationship unraveling if you don't confront it RIGHT NOW.

I've personally dated a lot and I can be very direct, but I also don't waste time. I know what I want at this point, and i also know that nobody is perfect. I always give the benefit of the doubt, but i don't continue to give that benefit once trust is lost, communication depth is not equal, or phycological warfare ensues.

If the writing is on the wall and i'm feeling more hurt and shame from someone that is suppose to be my best and closest friend, then walls go up, the truth comes out, the incompatibility surfaces, and we go our separate ways.

I highly recommend talking about this as soon as you can with him. If you really care about him and love him, this can't fester. Heck. I'd probably be in tears for making a mistake like that. Brene Brown said it best in one of her TED talks. brenebrown.com/videos

"To be vulnerable and to love with no guarantee." "To invest in a relationship that may or may not work out."

These things are elements of being authentic. I believe you are authentically worried and concerned by making this ABDL reddit post. If he really cares about you he will see how much it hurt you to make the mistake you did.

Hope this helps.