George Costanza purposely goes without sex for 5 years. Who is the smartest person he can defeat in a series of various intellectual challenges?

"Turn the board around. I always let my opponent go first." George said as cooly as he could manage, trying not to sweat from the Kung-Pow chicken he ate earlier.

Franklin snapped his fingers again, not uttering a word as he moved his first piece, trying to read George all at the same time.

"No telepathy Mr. Richards." George said smiling and wagging his finger.

"I wouldn't dream of it. You may have beaten my father, but I'm sure you'll soon find that I am not my father."

"Franklin, I'm going to be blount." George began as he and Franklin continued to play, never taking eyes off the board. "I didn't just ask you here today for a game and some intellectual stimulation."

"Shocker." Franklin said, sounding uninterested. "Five moves till I checkmate you Mr. Costanza. And I would suggest making your moves a bit faster, you do know that if you run out of time I win anyway, yes?"

"Yes, I'm aware. Franklin, have you ever heard of a man named Lloyd Bron?" George said as he moved and hit his side of the clock. "That's seven moves till your checkmate now, Mr. Richards."

"No, should I?" Franklin was obviously shake by George's move. He had torn down every plan and contingency Franklin had concocted with one devastatingly effective move.

"No, probably not. However, you should know that I do not like this man, and I have decided that righteous judgement from an angry, vengeful god is the only punishment fitting for him. Or in this case, you." George said as Franklin made his next move. George could see what he was planning, but Franklin didn't know what George had in mind.

"Why would I hurt this man? He's done nothing to me." Franklin said. He was beginning to get worried, and every time he tried to penetrate George's mind all he saw was darkness, pain, and morbidity.

"Oh, you don't have to. I'll just explain to your father that the lives of innocents are more important to you than his own." George dropped the line casually. Not a second later, George was telekinetically pushed through the window behind him, held only by Franklin's will.

"You had better start making sense fast!" Franklin screamed, using his powers to amplify and deepen his voice. "Where is my father?!"

"How many times has it rained this month?" George replied.

"What does that matter?" Franklin said with growing frustration as his telepathic assaults proved fruitless time and time again.

"Well depending on what time it is he may be in one place or several." George mocked. This was it. Do or die. If he didn't keep his cool here it was over. "Give me your power and no harm will befall your father!" George demanded.

"NO! YOU'RE LYING! WHY CAN'T I SEE YOUR MIND?" Franklin screamed through every source of vibration in the city.

"Do you want to see in my mind? I'll let you!" George said as he lowered the barriers around his mind. Lucky for him Jerry read so much Superman, the Torquasm-Vo he gleaned from it definitely pulled this plan together.

Franklin looked in finally. Past all the darkness he saw initially. What he saw horrified him. His father splayed open, cut down the middle and stretched to his limits, only for the process to begin again as he healed. Franklin screamed as the image pierced his mind. In his pain, he let go of George. George, now hanging from a flagpole, made his case a final time.

"Give me your power so I can finally give Lloyd Bron what's coming to him!"

Franklin had no will left. He gave George his power as George slipped from the flag and began to levitate.

"See? Wasn't that easy? Now run home; you're Dad will meet you there." George assured him...

One hour later at Monk's. Cue bass line.

"So how did you play date go?" Jerry mocked

"Very well, thank you. And it was a game of minds! A match to see who's intellect would reign supreme! That of god or man!" George expounded.

"Whatever you say, as long as you and your little friend didn't touch my G.I. Joes." Jerry said. "So what did you do?"

"I lied to him and told him I was going to torture his father if he didn't give me his power." George said as he snapped his fingers and draped himself in velvet to prove himself.

"But you didn't do any of that!" Jerry retorted

"Ah, ah. It's not a lie, Jerry, if you believe it." George said as he took a sip of his coffee. "You've got the check right?"

Cue ending bass line

Sorry, writing super genius George with regular George qualities is hard. And i'm not a writer on top of that!

/r/whowouldwin Thread Parent