Oh jeez don't get me started on this shit. My wife did the same thing to me a couple years back except I was off on a business trip with my then young and budding Popsicle cooler company. Those were the days really, I was manager of my own business, playing the game with the other big Popsicle tycoons, wheeling and dealing late on weekday nights to secure the latest deals in sicle technology. Back then we'd always pack away a couple whiskey-pops for lunch and then a few more throughout the day, always chasing them with ecstasy-pops. It was a wild time, we were making up the rules to the game as we went. Anyway my wife, well as I was in Fort Wayne, Indiana at the national Popsicle convention she got up to her own bit of nonsense. The convention was great, a real thing to see back in its prime, all these big investors were there with their entourage. I always went with a couple of buddies from my home town, Manderville, Tennessee, and we'd get right and sloshed at some of the most happening clubs in Fort Wayne. We'd get up to all kinds of nonsense. One night I woke up from a drug and alcohol and Popsicle induced coma to half a dozen hookers in my bed. Johnny, my go-to pitch man was strung up by his trousers over the hotel bannister and Steve was wearing that broken box television as a hat. Needless to say I had no idea, no idea!, of what happened that night. Only that we had a great time.

But hey, that was decades ago and the Popsicle game has changed since then. Now it's all 'internet-savvy' and stuff that I personally think I've grown to old to understand. If only my wife was still around, but like I always say, can't stay with a woman that cheats on you with the local high school baseball varsity squad... Eh that's a story for another time.