My family is like this and my recent ex were like this, it took me years to learn but thing is: it is not about you. She does not think you are incompetent specifically, she would do this with almost anyone. It feels disrespectful as hell I get it but they can't help it most of the time. You can talk with her and ask her to tone it down, but it is more like a control obsession. Think like she has psychological tic, all of these are automatic reactions almost. Obviously you need to draw and protect your boundaries, you need to have a serious conversation about it. I am just saying she may not be aware of it. Or she may be just a plain old disrespectful person. Talk with her about this issue and you will see.