Unless you are referring to a workplace environment, I'm not sure your right in assuming humans general act upon logic and not emotion. My experiences with people would hint at just the opposite.
You make it sound like an ultimatum is this horrible thing and as soon as you label something as an ultimatum, whoever proposed it is a huge asshole. Basically, there isn't enough time to support a healthy relationship with her current requirements to compete. I don't feel it's fair to me. We had a great relationship the first 1.5 years. Then she started dance. I dealt with my "emotions" silently as I didn't want to stop her from doing something she loves.
She changed the nature of the relationship when she decided to devote so much time to dance, who knows, maybe she did it to get away from me. I highly doubt that as we are pretty amazing together, even in light of this issue I'm having.
Anyway, it's stupid to label something as an ultimatum in order to attach a negative connotation to it. If there isn't enough time together to have a healthy relationship, I don't think that it's unreasonable to request a compromise for the sake of the relationship.
We talked last night. She knows I can't be happy with the current format of the relationship. I didn't offer her any of my ideas as I don't want to push her into doing something she doesn't want to do. We had a good serious conversation about it. Both of us voiced our opinions but we didn't set a solution yet. I hope she loves me enough to stop competing and spend time with me (preferably dancing with her so she still gets her fill) but it's not a decision I'm going to force down her throat.
At the end of the day, I can't be in a relationship where I don't see my partner enough and she loves dancing/competing which takes time away from being together, too much time for me. If she wants to continue to compete then she will make that decision but I cannot be with her if she does.
Call it an ultimatum if you want, I call it a reasonable approach to relationships.
The worst thing about this entire problem is, I know she loves me. I know she will work with me to fix this problem. But if she quits competing to have a healthy relationship with me, I think I will feel terrible for causing that. But then again, I'll have the woman I love back in my life. It's just a heavy price for both of us I guess. fucking relationships...