Tbh she sounds a little like a sex addict and she also has extremely unrealistic expectations for sex that seem to mostly meet and consider her needs, not yours. This is sounding a lot like control & gaslighting. If she wants sex and intimacy so bad, why reject you? It strikes me she wants to be in control of when and how you have sex, but you just want a good night sleep. Plus squirting all the time? I have bomb ass sex where I’ve cum a lot and never squirt. It seems like she has the problem, not you.

Honestly, I’d let her go. From what you share about your trauma, you could be unknowingly reenacting it in this relationship with her. She seems far from safe (especially emotionally & mentally) and you deserve way more.