There's a community on reddit that calls it FIRE (financial independence/early retirement). /r/financialindependence and actually people often post about how to bring it up on dates. I'd recommend going through that because many people on that subreddit are in the same boat as yourself.
I believe that the way you're approaching this topic may be scaring off people who would otherwise be a good fit. And likewise attracting the wrong type (those who see it as a fantasy lifestyle, to your point). The lifestyle you're describing does not sound like it needs to be addressed on a first date in entirety. You seem very intense (your words) and dedicated to your plan so you feel it needs to be mentioned upfront as a deal breaker. The issue with that is it probably comes off as too much of a deal breaker when you state it all immediately and can be a turn-off to a woman who would otherwise be interested. It would be like a guy saying "I don't date fat chicks" to a slim girl on a date and she might think to herself "Okay, well that feels very aggressive." Anyway, point being is that I think you're definitely cut out for a relationship but you might need to think about how to best approach it before your next date. :)
Since we do have some similarities, I'll give you an example from myself. I'm a mid-twenties female, fairly attractive, engineering degree, no debt, expat, low interest in having children, and looking to work for myself or retire within the next 5-10 years. People would describe me as intense and confident. I'm pretty staunchly set on continuing my expat lifestyle and potentially retiring in 10 years (at 35). If I were to mention that upfront on a date I'm either going to attract the wrong type of people or give off the wrong impression. I'll either attract a gold digger guy who will be shocked when my lifestyle is not all designer clothes and business class trips every single day, or a guy who thinks I'm entitled (or getting things from mommy & daddy). It likely would come off as too aggressive to a guy who is similar to myself but potentially not 100% on board today. Instead, if I mention my interests and background then it's easy for someone to conclude the rest. Later on I can explicitly lay it all out there. The funny thing about your goals & someone else's goals is that they're liable to slightly adjust when you meet someone who fits you well. If I met a guy in a great city who wouldn't leave it then I could stay. If I live a slightly frugal lifestyle then perhaps my boyfriend would adopt my habits (or not). Not to say that I should date a guy who blows everything on fancy cars or would recommend myself to a guy who has never left his hometown.