As it happens I actually do date women, but fuck all if she thinks that I feel safe enough to tell her that.

Oh for heavens sake. Two of my aunts, married to men, had very short hair as long as I’ve been alive (over 30 years—and yes, these are women married to different men who didn’t know each other well, this isn’t an “I’m too naive to realize my aunts are in love” situation). Hair is no indication of being a lesbian or not—Portia DeRossi was in shampoo or hair commercials years ago and had gorgeous long blonde hair, and is now married to (ehhh) Ellen. I would LOVE to show some of these militant straight women old Portia commercials sometimes and just remind them of real life. Lesbians have different hair too. You know what’s crazy? You can’t tell who people like to fuck by looking at their hair! Madness. It’s almost like it doesn’t matter what people look like OR who they like to fuck—imagine that!

Who cares this much about what anyone does? We could all be hit by a falling piano tomorrow. Live and let live.

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