10.000 words later, delete and start over.
Dude here, in therapy. It's the exact fucking opposite with me right now with my therapist. I'm seriously considering finding a different one. I have a couple of big decisions to make and I'm paralyzed. My lease is up, my goal is, I don't want to move unless I either 1) buy a place and/or 2) leave the city and move somewhere else. Sounds easy right? I don't have a single clue how to make that decision. There's a few variables in play that make things not so black and white.
I'm a homo so I'm not the best place for male/female interaction advice. As an outsider, it seems like I read all the time that men want to fix things, and they think everything should be fixed. And it seems like I've read tons, like hundreds over years and years, where women don't necessarily need something fixed when they open their mouth. Like, no shit. All the articles titled "men, here's what women want from men, we asked them and this is what they say" and every time it says that unless she asks you to fix this or that, then she's not asking you to fix it.
Gee, that sounds to me exactly like "guys, unless she says yes, absolutely, i want to have sex with you, now then, no she doesn't want to have sex with you now."
My moon sister from college (born on the same day) and I would sit around and she drilled it into me that if she wants my help or advice she will ask for it. That wasn't hard for me to get through my head. So basically she'd smoke a joint and I'd sit there and drink. Then we'd go hang out. (It also went vicey versa.)
I'm male, white, and huge (big bearded gay bear dude) and clueless; and then I read what you said OP and now I get why it's a huge issue women have about casual, institutionalized sexism.
Because "a woman said something, she must need help or fixing or rescuing" is the impression I get is what's happening here.
It's not a stretch at all to go from "unless a woman specifically asks you for help with something, then she's not asking you for help with someting" -- it's not a huge stretch from that to "unless a woman says, yes, have sex with me here and now; then no, she doesn't want to have sex with you."
In other words, if a woman opens her mouth and speaks, then it's implied consent. And if she says "no, I wasn't asking for your help" then she's violated the terms of the implied consent.
Isn't that patriarchy and institutionalized sexism?
Of course if the woman says fuck off, she's, well, you know the words they call women who say "no". Correct me if I am mistaken, but it seems like the burden is on women to say "no, you have to leave, I did not invite you in" when how about dudes said "Oh, sounds like a shitty day, I'm sorry". There's a million ways to say something without saying "you should do this", there's a million ways to offer assistance without placing a burden to say no on someone.
How about if guys don't walk into someone's space and then ask if it's ok for them to be there? (And I've been on the shit end of that from my terrifying, no-boundaries NC mom and her drug addicted, alcoholic, physically and sexually violent supposedly lesbian roommate (supposedly because when I moved in with them to recover from a near fatal health issue, the roommate sure let me know how sexy my various body parts were. It was horrifying. I can't begin to imagine a world where that's just the norm and you just deal with it. Part of the reason I'm in therapy.)
The freedom to speak, feel, think, exist, without being obligated to others. Consent of any kind is never assumed or implied, it is only ever explicitly granted.
<sarcasm/> Isn't that what those man hating, feminzai feeeee-males call the patriarchy? </sarcasm>
I don't know what to do, other than change society from the inside out. I don't know how to answer your last question about advice. I could say that you could tell whoever interrupted you "oh I am sorry, I was just letting steam out with my girlfriend here" and smile and then ignore them. But it seems like maybe you're sick and fucking tired of saying that. You can only do the cold shoulder thing for so long. It is a universal fact that we all will have to cold shoulder people our entire lives. But this isn't universal "all lives matter" shit. This is distinctly a problem women face more than men.
I am sorry OP I don't know what you should do because "You interrupted me, fuck off" doesn't seem to work.