Hi there. This is my very first comment on this Reddit thing. I literally don't write or share anything online ever, but was moved by your comment. You literally went into my heart and wrote everything that was in there (especially last week as I had this moment a few days ago). I had a miscarriage in October (7 months ago now). My husband and I are trying again with five negative results in the past 5 months. Going on our 6th. I just broke down this month after slipping into what I call the "dark place" of worry, thinking the worst case scenario, angry at God for why we have to be in this situation and yes, also being stabbed in the gut every time I sign onto Instagram and Facebook to see photos of babies everywhere. I also found out a friend of mine who had a miscarriage (after me) is pregnant again (before me!). Dagger to the heart. I deleted all social media apps for now - I sometimes log on the web if I really need to but it has helped a lot. Some people are absolutely obscenely annoying about sharing (one girl I even know went through IVF so she must know how it sucks to see so many gushy baby photos yet still posts them). There is literally nothing that I hate more at the moment.

Compassionately cut out anything that conjures anything but positive feelings. I read something last week that helped me "when you plant a seed for a flower to grow - you don't scratch at the dirt every day wondering if it's grown." It helped me cast a new perspective on patience, and the mysteries and wonders of the universe, nature and/or our bodies (or whatever you want to call it).

Every day is still hard. I am here and I exist. I feel exactly what you are feeling. You are not alone. I hope you will see the light of the tunnel soon.