Hey man, 35, finalizing divorce after a 5 year long separation which happened because my wife accidentally answered the phone late one night (trying to dismiss the call) and put it in her phone back in her purse so I could hear everything she was doing with another man she had been seeing for a year behind my back... and what I heard will forever be etched in my skull (it was bad).

I'm freshly ugly from so much stress that I now wear permanent bags under my eyes and far fewer strands of hair on my oversized head, living with my aunt still paying on a house I don't get to see, 1/4 million in debt, just lost my job two days before Christmas, chronic sleep issues, and I no longer have any friends and I am now a cynical bastard who hates pretty much everyone! I didn't even call my own mother for Christmas! (nor did I get a call from anybody)

My life is an the absolute shitter and I don't see a way out! I became a raging alcoholic after the incident with my wife, which is a big part in why I lost the few friends I have. I quit drinking a year and a half ago, probably took a decade off my life in that 3.5 year super-bender where I would polish off a full 750ml bottle of whiskey and a six-pack of (usually quite heavy) beers every night. I drank to black out, and I succeeded in doing that many times!

Somehow I'm still not drinking, but it gets harder and harder every day and I don't know how much longer I can last!

Why the hell am I typing all this!? I guess because it's nearing 3:00a, and I haven't slept properly in days weeks months, so I felt like hopping on a soap box for a minute.

My life is really shit! If you're not as fucked as I am, then remember that at least you're not me! I haven't been laid in 5 years this March! I wish I was lying about any of this!