I'm not like your husband but I could have written this myself about 7 years ago. Minus the yelling, I preferred passive aggression with my irritation. People joked about my invisible man and it really did... embarrass me, I guess was the feeling?

I wrote lists. Lists of all the things he did that were wonderful. Like you, there were so many things. Lists of how I felt with him, the things being with him brought out in me. An amazing amount of comfort and support.

Then I thought about 80/20. I don't expect him to be perfect. 80% perfect is good enough for me. His 80% covers all of the most important things.

Now I look at it like something I'm doing for him. It's how I can take care of this wonderful man that takes such good care of me. After that, you find a way to let others know it isn't a topic open for discussion.