Wow. I've seen your posts on here, though I think this is my first reply to you.

I am a 27 year old male and I've never been raped, so if you want to stop reading that is ok.

It is an interesting phenomenon that we can hurt people that we love and that even though we still love them, what we've done can destroy the relationship.

I believe that anyone can be healed of anything, however I'm not saying that you should stay with this guy. Actions have consequences, good and bad. It is ok (and maybe even good) to take some time off from school to deal with this. It may be good to move away for a while. Pressing charges may be good as well. Here is how to determine if something is good for you:

Ask yourself, "Does it help me heal?" If it does, do it, even if it's hard. I know that the people here support you and so do I. There are ways to talk to others without using the phone. There is a website called 7cupsoftea.com (and it has its own sub here, too) where you can talk to someone who will listen to you and it is totally anonymous. They are not counsellors, but they are trained to listen to you. I am a volunteer there, by the way.

There are also sub-reddits like r/kindvoice where you can ask to be listened to. I know that I would listen to you and I'm sure that others here in this sub would, too.

You say that you're tired of talking to new people, so maybe these things wouldn't help you. However, there may be a victim advocate you can reach out to where you live. They might be able to act as a gatekeeper between you and everyone else who is officially involved in this. I see that victim advocates are even mentioned in the sidebar.

I've never been through what you've been through, but I dealt with some severe depression and was hospitalized for most of the second half of 2013. I learned a lot during that time and it gave me a lot of compassion for people who are suffering. When I listen to anybody, I act as if I am a secondary survivor (there is a link about this in the sidebar as well) and I just listen, accept, and support the other person. Find someone who will do that for you, preferably face-to-face in a safe environment. I know it's hard and I can't imagine how I would handle it if this happened to me, but I know there is hope because there is support and love here (and in other places) for you.

I hope this helps, at least a little bit. If you want to reply, I would love to hear from you, though no reply is required.

All comments are welcome. I want to hear what you have to say.