Oh god hon, this is ABSOLUTELY, 100% literally, word-for-word some of the things I endure, reading your examples was like someone had been observing my life/what I go through (only exception being that I'm the only child, which makes me both "golden child" and scapegoat simultaneously, well, if a GC even exists in the BPD world..) It's insane how identical and specific a mold BPD moms seem to be cut from... Wow. Well, here's my story... It's really very long, so believe it or not this is the in-a-nutshell version.
I'm 28 now, and unfortunately stuck back under my parents' roof for the foreseeable future after some bad choices on my part (motivated almost ENTIRELY by my desperate need to get away from my BPDmom/out of her house) led me to enter successive, and progressively worse, mentally/verbally/physically abusive relationships... The last of which very nearly cost me my life, and DID rob me of my hard earned acceptance to and three successful semesters in medical school.
Subsequently, the fallout from surviving the process of escaping my ex-"fiancée" thereafter cost me two full time jobs - employers with workplaces accessible by the general public, like hospital ERs or high-end fitness clubs, they don't feel too comfy about keeping around employees once they find out they're currently under a protective order against a violent/weapon wielding ex who had already violated the order more than 5 times in the first 3 weeks it was effective (and unfortunately, the law stated that these employers needed a copy of the protective order on file with HR/management in the event he showed up. Worst catch 22 ever.) The combination of money stolen by him ($15k in savings) student loans for a program I was no longer in, and crap job market where I was left me in a financial shithole from which I'm still trying to recover.
After healing mentally, (the best I could with someone like a BPD mom around to "help") I finally made the monumental decision that no, I had NOT been robbed of medical school, or my dream/future career. I decided I would re-apply, re-start and complete the program. Around the same time, my parents decided that they were really actually going to go through with their 28+ year "plan" (more like threats) to move to Florida. I was yet again between jobs, had no way to stay in my home state even if I had really wanted to, and realized that the medical program I wanted to enter was offered at way more schools down here (in FL) than back home. So I finally just threw my hands up and said "fuck it. Fine. Let's go." I knew that yet again, I'd be stuck under her/their roof of BPD insanity.. but I also knew from my intensive soul/brain/memory searching from the time spent healing after the final terrible relationship, that my desperate frenzied attempts to get away from my parents/mother before had directly led to what could have been my death at age 25. So I just had to grit my teeth and resign myself to the fact that *this is just what I have to do for now. It's a means to an end."
So here I am now... I've got a few months left before the application process opens up for the next matriculation class. I plan to apply this spring/summer, and if all goes as planned, be accepted to a program before thanksgiving, and begin school all over again (because Physician Assistant programs don't allow ANY credit transfers from other programs. You leave, you ALWAYS start over.) and I'll be donning my very own long white coat in 2018.
(Reddit is cutting me off here, next post continues this)