When it comes to figuring out what's important to you, it takes a lot of time and cultivation. If it bothers you when he says that, ask yourself why? Is it because you're suspicious he may leave you for her since he's still affectionately attached to her?

Accepting that we're all one is great spiritually, and when you bring it further into your life it's like you actively decide what it means to you and how through your experiences. Having a healthy ego is when everything you do is consistent with what you feel is right. An interesting mind exercise: imagine your boyfriend's in front of you, and you were talking with your ex, you told him you loved him and you called him by the pet name you use to - how do you imagine that would make your boyfriend feel? Why would you avoid doing that? Now, evaluate that in oneness we all have varying ways of expressing ourselves because of our histories, and the reasons you avoid doing that may not be relevant to your boyfriend - communication is important so you both can possess roughly the same comprehension, instead of uniquely from your own perspectives. If it's just from your own perspectives and no middle ground's established for you two to work from together, it's like jabbing one another blindly, assumptions are brutal to relationships when it comes to sensitive subjects that hurt your heart. Communication is like creating a bridge where energy can flow freely and things can grow, assumptions is like throwing fully loaded random ammo that can be set off under the right conditions.

The tricky part to all of this is it takes a lot of work and trust, both of which are extremely difficult to give. Sometimes you're not going to be satisfied with the answers that are given and that's where the trust comes in. How I see we're all one is everyone serves as a reflection of yourself. If someone does something that you think's wrong or questionable, it's what you would do if you were in that situation, so where's the line of when it's something you should place judgment on or allow people to be themselves? I hope this helps a bit, it's all really complicated because I personally go with what feels right to me and I'm very different than yourself so I hope I gave something neutral enough for you to work with. :) You appear to be very emotionally healthy to me, you're doing great!