I’m really sorry you’re going through this. I was treated this way in my childhood by my mom but she would tell me I’m the reason why SHE wants to die. She would tell me awful things like she wishes her life was different, and she should’ve stopped at 2 children (I was her 3rd child) and then she would make me breakfast the next day like nothing happened. It was very strange. I grew up suicidal and cutting my arms thinking there was something wrong with me but as I grew older, I figured out there was actually something wrong with her. There’s nothing wrong with me, I deserved more. You deserve more, and there’s nothing you’re doing wrong. It sounds like both you and your sister need help and it’s your parents’ fault. Verbal abuse from your parents is so painful, I know. I don’t have much advice on what to do but I just wanted you to know that you’re not alone and there’s nothing wrong with you.