A former coworker recently died at the age of 40. He was kind of a loner and did not take care of himself. Despite all that he had a great job, got to travel, and was a great guy when he wasn’t drunk or angry. When I found out he had died I surprised myself by feeling a bit jealous. No matter how his life was, whether it was a good one full of adventure and amazing experiences or a shitty one that he just muscled through, he was dead. He no longer had to deal with stress, pain, loneliness, or any of the bullshit we are subjected to on a daily basis. He had won. He had either enjoyed his life, or he hated it, but it was done had he was gone.

Im an atheist, but there are moments where I believe that when people say “They’re in a better place” they actually have it right. For the reasons I mentioned about late my coworker, I believe that death is a peaceful thing and nothing happens after you die. I’m not scared if that idea and I embrace it.

Now I am not particularly suicidal, but I’ll admit I’ve thought about how much easier things are when you’re dead. That being said I still have so many things I want to do and to experience. Until I feel like I’ve had a full life, I’d be upset at the idea of dying, but not technically scared if it. That is why I try to remind myself to take risks, be happy, and do the things I want to do. However, death is the final reward after going through this world.

I have a lot to work on in myself because ultimately we all try to make the best of the life we’re dealt, and I by no means want to end up like my coworker. There is so much to experience and love in this world, it would be a shame to waste the opportunities given to me. The same goes for anyone that has questioned their existence or asked why bother going through this life.