Ok so I am a pretty big girl. 5'5 and 230lbs. My bmi is around 39. I have only been big for maybe 5 years, prior to that I was around 130 for a few years. Here is my truth. I know I need to start eating healthier. I know my clothes don't fit very well and it is very frustrating because I feel like I don't look nice in anything.

But to be honest, it is not my #1 priority or concern. I am in university with a 6 month old baby. I have a social life, a good marriage and an apartment to keep clean. I am also working on anxiety and a new ADD diagnosis. Weight is (to me) a symptom of my mental health struggles. It is something that can be altered when I am ready, or chipped away at slowly. I have a fat body right now. It isn't ME though. I don't define myself by it although of course it affects my life.

Ultimately I remind myself that after I gained a bunch of weight is when the best years of my life started. I met and later married my husband, got a good job, made friends and had a beautiful baby in the years since I put on weight. Would I rather be thin? Sure! But being overweight didn't stop my life from being good. It didn't cancel out my worth. I struggle with self consciousness and impulsive eating every day. But forgiving yourself is a big part of any process. And you are in a process of healing from PPD and what seems like a potentially hazardous preoccupation with weight.

I know why people judge others that are obese. I just remind myself that we all have personal struggles like addiction, mental health, family issues etc. Obesity is just one of the few that are immediately noticeable, certainly not the worst though.