I think my biggest issue is just the whole "my needs don't fill fulfilled" idea.

This includes sexually but not explicitly that. I'm a stupid dumb romantic, i know life isn't like the movies but those very very rare days when I wake up to a nice message before hes gone to bed or the one time he got me flowers made me so happy.

polyamory can't answer "why am I not enough?" because the question doesn't make sense. Relationships have a more "I love you, so I will promise you a bunch of stuff, but we don't need to deny ourselves other different connections to prove affection.

I do want to feel like this. I want to accept who he is and his ideals but again, I'm not receiving said affection anymore.

I brought this all up with him about an hour ago when he got mad for not telling him what was wrong. He says he has no thoughts on what Ive revealed about my jealousy and has stopped replying. How am I supposed to sort this out? I know him, I know he won't stop or change, he'll just get better at hiding it all. He's told me many times it's just me and then the next weekend I'm at his house finding blonde hair in my hairbrush (I have black hair).

Speaking of which, this brings up another sort of issue I have. Our agreement is I cook and clean, he pays the bills. I dont earn much and he hates cleaning so it works very well. Problem is I HATE when I come home and I see mess that his girl friends have made.

The last threesome we had we were having cigarettes in the loungeroom afterards and she ashed inside a plastic bag that was on the couch (even though there was an ashtray for all of us there). When she left I was cleaning up and realized my silicon toys were in that bag, the silicon was melted and burnt. I had to throw $100 toys away. BF didn't really seem to care.

I dont want them to contribute to the cleaning (I'm really fussy about stuff being cleaned to my standard) I just want them to respect the tons of work I put in to cleaning the apartment (BF is a bit lazy, I don't care but it reinforces my point of a lot of cleaning) or rather, my BF respect how much work I do for him even when I technically don't even live with him yet.

You don't really know them or much about them, and by viewing them as a hobby not part of his life, you've accidentally created a big chunk of his life that excludes you.

This is mostly because he doesn't want to share this side. He's constantly sitting at his computer quickly typing his message on facebook and quickly clicking away or sitting at an angle where there's no way I could see what he's typing. I feel like if he read that sentence he'd bring up the fact that he asked if I wanted to see a girl he took pictures with while they fucked, I said okay at first but then left the room; not because of jealousy they were having sex, but because of the fetishes ie kitten play that he won't do with me even though I've expressed my interest.