Dear. If you don't know, and I gather by your shit attitude that you don't; I am going to clue you in. You are married. And not just married to an every day joe blow who works 9-5, you're married to fucking GI Joe. Do you understand what you committed to when you married him? Do you understand that you made a promise, for better or for worse. Do you understand that this is the "worse" part and when he needs YOUR support, love and assurance you're too busy whining about being a Mom to ONE infant, and not seeing him all the while it is completely out of his control.
Meanwhile, I have yet to see one example of how YOU are actively trying to change this situation. What you are asking of him is not only selfish, but god damn irresponsible and impossible. For starters if you're financially secure, get a god same sitter for an hour or so so you get ME time. While you're at it; sit down and tell your husband you are making plans for "this day, at this time" and it can either be a family day or a husband and wife day. Grow up and take responsibility. If I were your husband I'd be speaking with a lawyer already, prepping to divorce your selfish ass. Have a little compassion for fuck sakes.
And before I get told I don't know what it's like, please, my husband is gone 31 days and back for maybe 10-25 days. Depending on what happens at his job. I don't nag, I don't bitch, and actually my husband doesn't lift a damn finger while home. I encourage him to go golf, or go to hockey games. He needs his down time, because even when home he's catching up on all his other responsibilities. I support him 100% because while I get to stay home with all my beautiful children, he's out there busting his ass; he's getting a maximum of 3-5 hours asleep in a twin size bed with springs poking him in the back resulting in back problems and knots, which when he's home I happily massage out.
Do yourself a favour, find solutions and don't add to his stress. He is sacrificing a lot to give you and your child a wonderful life. Just as my husband is sacrificing a lot to do the same for my family. Cut him some slack. This is what you signed up for.