We've talked about this in counseling. We're working through it, but I was hoping others might have been in similar situations and could share their experiences.

My biggest problem on the intellectual side of things is that there's nothing to be done except to change my expectations. She's done nothing wrong, and neither have I, but almost all the things I enjoy are alienating to her. It continually drives a wedge. I can't really change what I enjoy, though, and while compromise is a thing, there really is very little overlap. So much is ruined by the fact that anything more than shallow conversations are tedious for me and end up with my taking on a mentor role to explain something that fell through gaps in her education (she went to sheltering conservative Christian private schools). I really don't like holding conversations that way, and I try to avoid it when possible, but with her it's just not. And hence we don't talk about much of interest.

The intellect gap is something I've talked about primarily 1 on 1 with the counselor. She's already insecure about that sort of thing, and bringing it up would riddle her with anxiety. It sucks, because the counselor didn't really have input, either. You really can't change this part of a relationship, because it requires changing things which are relatively immutable.