It's easy to jump to hyperbolic conclusions in a thread like this where there is a situation involving hundreds or thousands of hours of dialog now being summarized a few paragraphs at a time. I'd ask you to throttle back a bit.

I'm not sure what you'd want me to say to my wife regarding the intellectual issue. It's not an issue that you can bring up without being offensive, especially given that she's already sensitive in the area. I did bring it up at one point under the heading of telling her I had difficulty relating to her, and that caused a week-long existential crisis for her along with some plausible but ultimately unproductive attempts at a solution, which were discussed alongside a counselor. But to say that she's just not smart enough? That's unconscionable to me. If I ended up leaving her at any point, she'd be a shattered mess of insecurities. Any time she didn't know something, anything, could end up being a trigger. That issue can never come up directly.

But I take it for granted that somewhere out there is a couple of differing intelligence, and I would be eager to know what they did to make it work (or if it didn't), and what they did to get to where they are.