I think what's wrong with you is that you're giving random strangers too much control over your life and your feelings. You're seeking meaning in your relationships with others instead of in your relationship with your environment & the world around you. You're trying to find value externally, through relationships with total strangers, instead of finding value in yourself and celebrating that.

That probably sounds mostly like bullshit, esp in the headspace you're in now. I know I've been where you are and it's hard not to let the shit get to you. So change things up. You don't have to be dating all the time. You don't have to find a soulmate or get married or compromise on who you are and what you want to be. Forcing unrealistic or unnecessary expectations on oneself is the quickest road to disappointment.

So stop cruising OkC for a little while. Go to a museum or take a weekend vacation somewhere or make some friends (who will probably suck in the long run). You can still get to know other ppl while getting to know yourself, and in doing the latter will insulate you from these kinds of feelings. This isn't going to revolutionize your life or take the loneliness away completely, but it will distract you; possibly long enough to meet someone when you're not even really trying (I think that's the secret tbh).

As for your online dating experience I just give you a slow dorsia laugh. I've been off/on online dating websites for 16 years. First girl I met had serious buckteeth, another had ankylosing spondylitis (look that shit up) and 2 kids. Another had the most disgusting teeth I've ever seen in my life and had been hit by a car approximately 5 days before our date. Another was 50 pounds heavier than her profile picture, and another turned out to be my friend's ex-wife (that I didn't find out til after we'd dated). I tried to take it all in stride bc let's face it; there's a reason these ppl (and me) were on a dating website instead of out meeting ppl irl. They were either too unavailable, too unrealistic, or too socially awkward to make things happen out in the real world. Why else would they risk catfishers and all the other awful shit you run into online? You're dealing with a population that skews towards awful relationships and you just have to accept that.

Then a little over 3 years ago I met the love of my life on there and still simply can't believe my luck.

Life is cruel and random and nonsensical and will never work on your schedule. When it rains, it pours, and when it doesn't it just fucking doesn't. Don't be sad because you can't find anyone. Be sad because you haven't found yourself; and then fix that. Being alone doesn't mean you have to be lonely, and lots of lonely people aren't alone at all.