i was just getting out of my little depression hole in 2019. Made some friends, classes were cool, even joined a club. Made it back to school in january, chilling whilst we waited for our field trip day, and then we heard that we were gonna have to stay home. Indefinitely. Okay, well at least i can cheat in class, lol.

And then my mental health took a huge nosedive. Realized all my friends and i weren’t really close. I was stuck in a house with my mom and our relationship is horribly rocky. At the time we were staying at my aunt’s because we still didn’t get enough money to start renting our own place, and covid made that worse. I spent my days skipping every class, just lying in my bed, having people bring me food because i didn’t want to go outside to eat because i hated my fucking conservative and racist uncle and didn’t want to see him, much less be in the same room. Thought about offing myself multiple times, esp cause i argued with my mom and she wasn’t on speaking terms with anybody for abt a week and i felt guilty abt it.

Its been a while, but it didn’t get much better. Even after moving away from my aunt I still felt like shit so after yet another argument with my mom i tried telling my dad about how i feel i might be depressed. He ignored me. I started collapsing under school and now after failing so many classes i’m suffering the consequences. Had to go to summer school last year to pass a credit and i still need one more to graduate so i’m now in night school too. Buried myself in video games as a release to the point where I’m practically addicted and even began writing as a hobby because then i can literally create whatever fantasy i want for myself, because then i can live through the characters. I don’t rlly look like it but i feel myself slowly digging myself deeper into my little depression hole again, and i can easily pinpoint it starting with covid.

So yes, even as an introvert with social anxiety i still fucking hated quarantine.