I'm white, and I live in middle America.

Outside of the media, the only people I've personally witnessed speak this word have been very uneducated or very uneducated AND unapologetically racist.

So, in my experience, the people that I know who are using this word DO mean it maliciously or carelessly, it's NOT an "accident," and there is no way to take it out of context. I think this is why progressive-leaning white people get upset. We know the people who are using this word in a very negative way because they assume it's okay to say all those disgusting, hateful things to us behind your back, and we don't like it.

That may be the difference between our experiences; I don't know anyone who uses this word in a normal context, and I can't think of any situation in which I would use this word or it would be appropriate to use this word.

While I haven't had it directed towards me, I certainly get a sick feeling when I hear people using it so casually. Because, in my experience, you can't hide who you really are forever, and she just told me exactly who she is.