Kim Davis is freed from jail and walks on stage to "Eye of the Tiger" before breaking her silence.

Heaven or hell or limbo or an eternal waiting room – she knew she’d end up wherever he did. He had made her, warped her to his image. They’d share the same fate in death just as they had in life.

That’s how it seemed to start going – the more people discovered Friday was missing, the more natural it seemed. Time’s up. People almost felt as if they had expected it, a surprise that really wasn’t surprising. It was like a lover confessing they had been unfaithful and you suddenly realizing that deep down you had known all along. All through Monday and into Tuesday afternoon the knowledge spread. There was shock and confusion, but mostly people were shocked and confused by their lack of shock and confusion. By Wednesday morning a calm had settled over the planet. No one wept for their children who would never grow up. No one sought to avenge old slights or confess long hidden love. The curtain was coming down with an all encompassing finality that moved everyone into quiet acceptance.
Thursday – closing day. Adults went to work, children went to school. Bills were paid, appointments were kept for oil changes and manicures, groceries were purchased in preparation for a weekend they knew would never come. This was how they had lived their lives and they saw no reason to change now. Slowly, everyone began to realize the source of their calm – it was the firm conviction that they were not alone. Whoever had decided to end the world must have been the One who had started it, too. He/She/It had created us all for a purpose, and that purpose must be almost fulfilled. We might as well all continue our roles to the very end. We’re all part of something so much larger than ourselves that we have no choice but to give ourselves up to it. The pure freedom of pure bondage.
There was one large change that night – great crowds gathered to watch a final sunset. Every park, every rooftop, every yard, equally full and equally silent. In the multitudes a brotherhood reigned, an understanding was reached. On the balcony of an expensive restaurant an old man had a heart attack – an immigrant worker from the kitchen and a billionaire hedge fund manager each held one of the man’s hands, and he smiled sweetly as he breathed his last. It’s all part of the plan. It will all work out.
As the night moved in, people returned to their homes, and even those without homes wandered onto doorsteps and were welcomed inside. The world had a peaceful, restful night of sleep. The most peaceful, restful night of sleep it had ever know. The sun rose Friday. People woke to the same world they had always known. For a few hours there was much conjecture – perhaps the end was delayed by the difference in timezones, maybe noon was the magic hour, or sunset, or midnight. As Saturday dawned it became clear there was no end in sight. The news media, which had remained mostly silent on this issue for the past week, went into overdrive. Experts theorized a computer bug had eliminated the date and led to a mass hysteria. It was a reflection of our over-reliance on technology, or our yearning for greater meaning, or a desire for a greater sense of community. Suicides skyrocketed, church attendance plummeted. The curtain had fallen, but they were expected to continue the play in the dark. In every land the people felt betrayed by a God who had sentenced them to life.

/r/nottheonion Thread Parent Link - msnbc.com